Sellsy's Monday Supplement

A new look England fly out to the Caribbean this week in preparation for the World T20 cup, playing the West Indies in three ODI’s and then three T20 matches. Then they fly to Bangladesh for the tournament which begins in March.

I say new look, as there is of course no Kevin Pietersen, no Andy Flower (he did give up his involvement in the shorter version of the game sometime ago), but there is Paul Collingwood to assist Head Coach Ashley Giles.

Collingwood’s appointment is very good and very shrewd indeed, I suppose results will tell. He knows the players as he has played against the majority of them last season, he knows the England set up, and he, as he has shown with Durham last season, can get the best out players in the face of adversity.

It was 10 years ago that I visited the shores of the Caribbean to watch England play cricket, visiting various islands and meeting some wonderful people. First stop was Port of Spain in Trinidad and Tobago, the home off Brian Lara. Boy do the locals love him.

I rolled up to the ground in the heart of the city on a beautiful hot morning, looking to some exciting calypso cricket. Found my seat, in some shade thankfully, the bar area was just behind me and the food just down a few steps on the next floor down. Heaven!

The West Indies won the toss, to the absolute joy of the locals, decided to bat, and that’s where it started to go wrong. As soon as the players walked out to the middle, the thunder and lightning started and one of the heaviest storms I have ever witnessed hammered down.

Within minutes the outfield was a lake, and when I peered over my shoulder to look outside the ground the streets were like rivers, with water just flowing down the roads. Wow! The rain relented after about 30 minutes, but by then the damage was done, there was absolutely no chance of play that day.

Instead of going back to the hotel, my travelling colleague, John Harlow (now where is he?), talked me in to going down town to have a few beers with the locals. Did I say earlier that Port of Spain was the home of a certain Brian Lara; well did those locals let us know that fact. Great banter, they always had the upper hand as Lara was the greatest batsman of his era, scoring 375 and 400 against England in recent years.

The Carib beer flowed, more talking rubbish about cricket, I even got on to the subject of Viv Richards, one of Somerset’s greatest players, but I suppose he was an Antiguan. A couple of pick-ups then appeared, one was full of steel drums and the other full of scantly dresses ladies. Well the steel band set itself up in the street just outside the bar, the music flowed and dancing in the street was unavoidable.

A enjoyment came to an end somewhat after a couple of hours and just when it was getting dark, when it whispered in our ear that we had better go back to our hotel. In asking why, the local who gave us a warning said there are some gang members on the way to the area looking to take out some revenge on white people. With that, no questions were asked, a taxi was hailed, we piled in and set off back to the hotel via a food shack.

When arriving back at the hotel, the Hilton no less where all the media boys were staying, I fell out of the taxi, clutching my bag of food, but ending up a heap on the floor. I looked around to see if anyone seen us, but in front of me was this figure, Ian Botham no less, he looked at me, smiled and just said: “looks as if you have had a good night!”

5.27, enough of that, time for Thatchers and skittles.......!

Sellsy's Monday Supplement

Somerset County Cricket Club recently reminded me that there is less than 70 days before the start of the cricket season, yes 70 days before the beautiful game returns. I am not counting down the days off course, but it will soon be cricket season and all the aspects which come with the game.

With all the recent rain and floods it does make you wonder if there is anywhere in the county where there is a dry bit of land and the forecast for this make is even less encouraging. I recently paid a visit to the Over Stowey ground, cog mire is the best I can describe it, will it be ready for May 3^rd?

Somerset’s ground is looking quite pristine, in fact better than most people’s lawns in the height of the summer. If you compare the County Ground to Worcester’s ground, well, you just have to feel for them, it looks like a lake. You just have to feel for them, in fact any club however large or small in the same predicament.

Somerset’s players are dotted all round the world, whether playing or training, getting ready for when battle commences. Craig Kieswetter and Alfonso Thomas have been competing in the Australian T20 competition; where Tomo’s side, The Perth Scorchers, went on to win the competition, with Tomo bagging a brace of wickets in the final – a sign of things to come?

Kiesy has put himself available for the IPL, and if selected will leave a bit of a gap in the Somerset’s batting line-up or perhaps a chance for someone else to make a name for himself. Peter Trego has been smashing the ball to all parts of New Zealand, playing for Central Districts in their domestic season.

More importantly is that Craig Overton is out in South Africa with the ECB Potential Emerging Player programme fast bowling group. I say more importantly as Craig missed most of last season through back injury. Along with his brother Jamie, these two can become an important part of Somerset’s attack this season.

The squad in general is back in training at Taunton, I even believe new signing Johann Myburgh has been with the squad since February. Nick Compton is also back from doing his charity work – I wonder how he feels about the state of the English cricket team, now there is a connection there somewhere between charity and the English cricket team, but can’t quite think of it at the moment.

Anyway, the long, hot, barmy summer of cricket is just around the corner, come on Somerset.

5.27, and I haven’t even mention Kevin Pietersen or Andy Flower, so it can’t be bad can it. Time for Thatchers and skittles.......!

Sellsy's Monday Supplement

For those who don’t read All Out Cricket magazine, you don’t know what you are missing – a quality magazine for cricket lovers like myself. In the latest edition something grabbed my attention and made me laugh out loud (lol!).

There’s a quite comprehensive section about performance, which includes things like skills (what?), fitness (no chance!), gear (I have a box!) and in particular nutrition. Apparently this will help amateur cricketers, like myself, fuel your match day performance! So let me talk you through it.

Breakfast: AOC’s nutritionist’s recommends things like omelette, scrambled egg or even a Greek yoghurt smoothie (a what?), something to do with protein. Now I can speak for the majority of Over Stowey CC, ok, the ones the go on tour, where a fry-up is the order of the day, which does include eggs, the fried type and plenty of carbohydrates like hash browns.

Nowadays, I still have my fried egg, usually stuck in a sandwich with bacon, and mushrooms, with loads of sauce, washed down with a gallon of tea. Now that’s the way to start a match day, surely?

Drinks Break: What follows breakfast, lunch of course, not a drinks break, I think the nutritionist is slowly getting out of touch with amateur cricket, especially village cricket. Lunch usually involves a couple of quick pints down the local, my type of drinks break, see if there is anything on the specials board which looks appetising, a bowl of chips usually suffices and straight to the match.

Now we can have our drinks break, so what did our expert come up with this time? Electrolyte tablets (something to do with sweating too much), skimmed milk, bananas and nuts! This is to do with maintaining energy levels during a long innings. Phil Rich, Stowey’s prolific batsman, during a lengthy innings needed a drink; he asked if someone could bring him out one, to his bemusement a glass of squash was working its way out to him. “Not one of those” he cried out, “go in my kit bag, I have a special can in there!” Out come a can of cider, he knocked in back in three gulps and went on to hit a ton!

Tea: Teas are the most important part about cricket and teas in the West Somerset League are absolutely marvellous, especially Wendy’s at Stowey. Full of cream cakes, scones, sponges, sandwiches, sausage rolls etc.

So what does our expert say (look away now please Wendy), low carbohydrate, high in protein type tea, which includes: chicken goujons, quinoa salad, carrot and celery sticks, yoghurts and a fruit salad. Enough to give me a nervous breakdown, or even contemplate retirement.

The afore mentioned Phil Rich and myself once had a scone eating contest when playing at Stogumber one barmy summers day. He managed to polish off about a dozen and then went out to score a hatful of runs – experts eh?

Post Match Drinks: Now a pint or two goes down quite well at Over Stowey after a hard day’s play, in fact it can be more than a couple of pints. Now our nutritionist is coming to his senses here a little as he mentions drinking gin or vodka with tonic, but this is instead of beer and cider which is calorie heavy, I don’t think so! At Stowey the shorts usually flow when spoofing start, however Bacardi and coke is the order of the day, except for yours truly who is a bit partial to a G&T.

Post Match Food: Again AOC’s finest is coming round, as he recommends a curry house! Now you are talking, but (there always is with an expert) avoid garlic naan and curries, go for a mixed grill with lots of meat – so what is the point of going for a curry?

As Over Stowey is about eight miles from any civilisation, if you can call Bridgwater civilised, a curry house is usually out of the question, unless someone decides to do a fish and chip run (curried chips). So a pasty or pie at the social club is high on the menu by the players.

Anyway, all this advice about performance isn’t exactly going to enhance mine, I don’t even warm up before play. Life in the cider tent sounds wonderful on match days instead of the worries of playing when selected.

5.27 time for skittles and Thatchers cider!

Sellsy's Monday Supplement

George Bailey has been quoted in saying that he has great “pride” that three English players have gone home from the current Ashes tour for one reason and another. What a complete knob! So he has great sense of satisfaction that three players careers could be over, one for definite we know. Have these Aussies any morals? Well they are Aussies I suppose, and I don’t expect the word “moral” is in any Aussie dictionary, like the word gullible!

The latest departure from the current touring party is Steve Finn, who has been described by Ashley Giles as unselectable, which is a bit rich coming from him. I can think of some other England players who are unselectable and not only those in the current squad. Ravi Bopara comes to mind.

If you really want to know what unselectable looks like, try going on tour with Over Stowey. The most unselectable tourist I know from the club has been Mark Sortwell. Every morning when he comes down to breakfast he looks like something out of zombie film, in fact he could quite easily be typecast into a role of a living dead type character. 

Unfortunately for him, and for Stowey, he seems to be selected – only because no one else wants to play due to a drinking type injury. Seeing Mark field in the baking heat with a hangover from hell is a sight worth seeing, dehydrated, lethargic, sweat pouring out of him, unable to focus, he can be a sight worth forgetting. One match, he was quite with it, he was on the boundary, the ball was going to his left, we all shouted left, and he ran to his right.

It is not just Mark who has been unselectable on tour. I can think off quite a few players. Phil Baker who slept in the wardrobe one night, he put his back out and was unavailable the next day. Les Biffen, who had a quiet drink with his friends in Marldon one Saturday afternoon, he ended up having a drink with the whole of the village, and not did he become unselectable, but was incapable of doing anything the next day! I could continue, but what goes on tour etc....! Wait to I publish my book, all will be revealed!

Admittedly I have been unselectable quite a few times on tour. One particular occasion, I believe it was the first tour; we didn’t leave the hotel bar until five in the morning. I was selected to play against Cockington the next day (in fact the same day). It was the game from hell. The home side piled on 300 runs plus in their 40 overs in brilliant sunshine. It was so bad that I even bowled eight overs and it felt like every time the ball crossed the boundary it would travel for a further 50 yards down a hill before it came to a stop. For the record, Phil Rich hit about 200+ not out and won the game single handed for Stowey! 

Having learned my lesson from that experience, the next tour I made myself unavailable for the last game against Stokeinteignhead and slept in the bus for most of the game!

Nowadays I just consider myself number 46 on the selection list, now if that is unselectable I do not know what is! 

5.27, Time for a Thatchers before skittles I suppose, where I have been selected to play.

Sellsy's Monday Supplement

Like quite a few people I know, I awoke early on Sunday, heard the cricket score, England posted a fairly reasonable total, so I decided to get up and watch the Aussie response. To my horror I saw Ravi Bopara trundling in, sending down some pies.

That was just the start of the horror show. England’s fielding was terrifying; Tim Bresnan summed that up by his non-stop on the boundary when it went straight through him. The advertising hoarding behind him summed it up, “Bloody Awful Mate!”

So sitting down in my armchair and seeing yet another chance go down, I scrambled for my iPhone to see who exactly had been picked to represent England that day. More disbelief, not only in the selection, but the TV replay went against England for a perfectly good catch (I’ll go on to that later!). I know everyone has their point of view and it is easy to criticise when things go bad, but for me there are some glaring errors in selection.

1.        Joe Root – Needs a break, completely out of form, needs to be rested, in fact he needs to come home and have a rest for a month, then play some County Cricket and get ready for the series against Sri Lanka.

 

2.       No front line spinner. The afore mentioned Joe Root was apparently picked as the spinner, then Ravi bowled most of the overs anyway. What was the point of selecting James Tredwell and Danny Briggs in the squad if they don’t get picked?

3.       The batting line-up was just a joke. Jos Buttler going in at number eight was mind boggling to say the least. He needs to be five, and then perhaps the score will go above 300. Again, I could go on, Bopara shouldn’t even be there (how many more chances?), Captain Cook is not justifying his place (he also needs a break me thinks), in fact the line up was a complete shambles.

The line-up I would choose would go something like this: Carberry, Bell, Ballance, Morgan, Buttler, Stokes, Bresnan, Broad, Jordan, Briggs, and Woakes. Ok, it seems a bit bowler all-rounder heavy, but what I can see already in the first ODI the pitches look like a batting paradise, so England need to swap it about a bit, keep the opposition guessing and perhaps catch a few to help out the bowlers would be nice.

The technology issue is now starting to get on my nerves, after the latest incident involving David Warner. Ok, it was not Warner’s fault on this occasion, just the referral and technology. Warner edged it, Buttler snapped up the chance by scooping the ball just as it was in danger of hitting the deck, Warner asked Buttler did he catch it, Buttler confirmed he did and Warner started to walk off. Then the umpires intervened. It was referred to the third umpire who gave the benefit of the doubt to the batsman purely because the TV replay was inconclusive and back came Warner. As soon as it was referred you knew that would happen, commentating Ian Botham good as said the same thing. Ridiculous to say the least. What is the point of having technology if it doesn’t work?

On the subject of technology, Joe Root needs to use the referral system better. Is it my imagination or every time he is given out LBW, he refers it and the decision seems to be always in favour of the bowler. I know no one likes being out LBW, but come on Joe, these umpires are of high quality and anyway, I believe the referral is there for grave umpiring errors. At least Stuart Broad has calmed down his use referrals as he believed every time he hits the pad the batsman is out – you are not that good Stuart.

Ok, that’s enough from me. For someone who is not a great lover of ODI’s I have said a lot today, I suppose it is just England playing rubbish and I care! 

6.27, Time for a Thatchers before skittles I suppose.

Sellsy's Monday Supplement

Michael Carberry hits the ball in the middle of the bat for the first time in the recent Ashes series and the bat, probably riddled with rot and woodworm as not been properly used for a while, snapped in half! That just about summed up England’s tour to Australia, broken!

The worse tour to Australia ever? Nearly as bad as the series in 2006/7, when England lost by the same margin under the leadership (I use that word loosely) of Freddie Flintoff. The Aussies then had a world class side, the likes off Langer, Hayden, Ponting, Gilchrist, Warne and McGrath to name just a few. This current Aussie side are not even close to that.

Anyway enough of that, we can analyse until the preverbal cows come home; a lot has been said and will be said over the coming weeks. The only thing the annoys me is that the sacrifice I have to endure in changing my sleeping pattern to watch that debacle, at least the last Test only lasted three days!

So what next for England? Who knows, some change in personnel amongst the backroom staff maybe the way forward - even Marcus Trescothick’s name has been mentioned, but that was in some tin pot Sunday newspaper - along with a change in the playing staff. Andy Flower will keep his job as head coach and Alastair Cook will stay on as captain, so he should, it’s the rest of the team who needs to look at themselves. Ben Stokes and Stuart Broad (just), can take anything from the tour, but it’s the batting that worries me. 

So with the shortest day now behind us, it is now countdown to the 2014 County Championship season and the start of the West Somerset Cricket League. Over Stowey will soon be starting indoor nets, should I turn up to get rid of relaxed muscle around my stomach, or should I get fit first? Neither I expect as I just rely on my great technique and good eye for the ball – saying that I need a new pair of glasses!

Somerset players are dotted around the world playing cricket in Australia and New Zealand, enjoying the warmth and heat no doubt, while we suffer in the wind, rain and floods. So what are the prospects of Somerset claiming some silverware this season, well something to examine over the next few months, just look out for the Overton twins! 

Right, have a look at this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ePx61TkXKY this will definitely cheer you up. Piers Morgan, or big mouth (amongst other things I have heard people call him), takes on Brett Lee in the nets. I am led to believe Morgan said that he could do better than the England players – how many broken ribs? 

Right, 6.27, time for skittles and a few Thatchers in the Cottage.

Sellsy's Monday Supplement

Sad news, this will be my last SMS of 2013, I can feel your pain all ready! 

So here are my Christmas and New Year hopes and wishes: 

1. Somerset to win the County Championship.
2. Jamie Overton to take 50+ First Class wickets.
3. Marcus Trescothick to hit a ton!
4. Lewis Gregory, Adam Dibble, Alex Barrow, Jack Leach and James Regan to come of age and return the faith Somerset have put in to them.
5. Craig Meschede to improve on last season and become the leading all rounder not only at Somerset but in the country – Sorry Tregs, give him some sort of target and hopefully emulate you at some stage, congrats on your recent ton and 500^th First Class wicket.
6. To go to a final and actually enjoy it. Well if Somerset get to a final, I won’t enjoy it!
7. The sun to be out on May 6^th so as I can enjoy my birthday, while watching Somerset, having a pint of cider or two!
8. Pick up a tidy some from the bookies in September when Somerset win all three competitions.
9. Over Stowey to get promoted to Division One.
10. To get this blog promoted on TV – tried a few times. The funniest being my encounter with Rob Key, at a Lord’s final. I had a few flyers to give out around the ground, I decided to try the TV pundits, Rob was walking from the pitch to the press boxes, I handed a flyer to him and he looked at it, signed it and gave it back! 

This piece was written a day before Graeme Swann decided to hang up his cricketing boots - mixed reaction to say the least. Was he pushed, did he jump or was he being sensible.

Take it from me your cricketing body can only go on for so long and Graeme’s has had its day. He is not the potent force he was two years ago, and by looking at his body language especially in the last Test, you sort of knew his time was up. 

For me he is being sensible, the Ashes are lost, England need to rebuild, he won’t play in another Ashes series, so why not bow out and give someone else a chance. I hear that Monty was sent to play Grade cricket as he was told he would be playing on Boxing Day and needed to get some match practice in.

Now with Jonathan Trott back home in the UK, Swann now not far behind him, who will be next? Jonny Bairstow for Matt Prior? Surely they must pick Gary Ballance?

Anyway, I’ll be back on 6^th Jan, by then England might of come to their senses and appoint a new head coach. 5.27, time for a Thatchers in The Cottage Inn, see you in the New Year.