Sellsy's Monday Supplement

George Bailey has been quoted in saying that he has great “pride” that three English players have gone home from the current Ashes tour for one reason and another. What a complete knob! So he has great sense of satisfaction that three players careers could be over, one for definite we know. Have these Aussies any morals? Well they are Aussies I suppose, and I don’t expect the word “moral” is in any Aussie dictionary, like the word gullible!

The latest departure from the current touring party is Steve Finn, who has been described by Ashley Giles as unselectable, which is a bit rich coming from him. I can think of some other England players who are unselectable and not only those in the current squad. Ravi Bopara comes to mind.

If you really want to know what unselectable looks like, try going on tour with Over Stowey. The most unselectable tourist I know from the club has been Mark Sortwell. Every morning when he comes down to breakfast he looks like something out of zombie film, in fact he could quite easily be typecast into a role of a living dead type character. 

Unfortunately for him, and for Stowey, he seems to be selected – only because no one else wants to play due to a drinking type injury. Seeing Mark field in the baking heat with a hangover from hell is a sight worth seeing, dehydrated, lethargic, sweat pouring out of him, unable to focus, he can be a sight worth forgetting. One match, he was quite with it, he was on the boundary, the ball was going to his left, we all shouted left, and he ran to his right.

It is not just Mark who has been unselectable on tour. I can think off quite a few players. Phil Baker who slept in the wardrobe one night, he put his back out and was unavailable the next day. Les Biffen, who had a quiet drink with his friends in Marldon one Saturday afternoon, he ended up having a drink with the whole of the village, and not did he become unselectable, but was incapable of doing anything the next day! I could continue, but what goes on tour etc....! Wait to I publish my book, all will be revealed!

Admittedly I have been unselectable quite a few times on tour. One particular occasion, I believe it was the first tour; we didn’t leave the hotel bar until five in the morning. I was selected to play against Cockington the next day (in fact the same day). It was the game from hell. The home side piled on 300 runs plus in their 40 overs in brilliant sunshine. It was so bad that I even bowled eight overs and it felt like every time the ball crossed the boundary it would travel for a further 50 yards down a hill before it came to a stop. For the record, Phil Rich hit about 200+ not out and won the game single handed for Stowey! 

Having learned my lesson from that experience, the next tour I made myself unavailable for the last game against Stokeinteignhead and slept in the bus for most of the game!

Nowadays I just consider myself number 46 on the selection list, now if that is unselectable I do not know what is! 

5.27, Time for a Thatchers before skittles I suppose, where I have been selected to play.

Sellsy's Monday Supplement

Like quite a few people I know, I awoke early on Sunday, heard the cricket score, England posted a fairly reasonable total, so I decided to get up and watch the Aussie response. To my horror I saw Ravi Bopara trundling in, sending down some pies.

That was just the start of the horror show. England’s fielding was terrifying; Tim Bresnan summed that up by his non-stop on the boundary when it went straight through him. The advertising hoarding behind him summed it up, “Bloody Awful Mate!”

So sitting down in my armchair and seeing yet another chance go down, I scrambled for my iPhone to see who exactly had been picked to represent England that day. More disbelief, not only in the selection, but the TV replay went against England for a perfectly good catch (I’ll go on to that later!). I know everyone has their point of view and it is easy to criticise when things go bad, but for me there are some glaring errors in selection.

1.        Joe Root – Needs a break, completely out of form, needs to be rested, in fact he needs to come home and have a rest for a month, then play some County Cricket and get ready for the series against Sri Lanka.

 

2.       No front line spinner. The afore mentioned Joe Root was apparently picked as the spinner, then Ravi bowled most of the overs anyway. What was the point of selecting James Tredwell and Danny Briggs in the squad if they don’t get picked?

3.       The batting line-up was just a joke. Jos Buttler going in at number eight was mind boggling to say the least. He needs to be five, and then perhaps the score will go above 300. Again, I could go on, Bopara shouldn’t even be there (how many more chances?), Captain Cook is not justifying his place (he also needs a break me thinks), in fact the line up was a complete shambles.

The line-up I would choose would go something like this: Carberry, Bell, Ballance, Morgan, Buttler, Stokes, Bresnan, Broad, Jordan, Briggs, and Woakes. Ok, it seems a bit bowler all-rounder heavy, but what I can see already in the first ODI the pitches look like a batting paradise, so England need to swap it about a bit, keep the opposition guessing and perhaps catch a few to help out the bowlers would be nice.

The technology issue is now starting to get on my nerves, after the latest incident involving David Warner. Ok, it was not Warner’s fault on this occasion, just the referral and technology. Warner edged it, Buttler snapped up the chance by scooping the ball just as it was in danger of hitting the deck, Warner asked Buttler did he catch it, Buttler confirmed he did and Warner started to walk off. Then the umpires intervened. It was referred to the third umpire who gave the benefit of the doubt to the batsman purely because the TV replay was inconclusive and back came Warner. As soon as it was referred you knew that would happen, commentating Ian Botham good as said the same thing. Ridiculous to say the least. What is the point of having technology if it doesn’t work?

On the subject of technology, Joe Root needs to use the referral system better. Is it my imagination or every time he is given out LBW, he refers it and the decision seems to be always in favour of the bowler. I know no one likes being out LBW, but come on Joe, these umpires are of high quality and anyway, I believe the referral is there for grave umpiring errors. At least Stuart Broad has calmed down his use referrals as he believed every time he hits the pad the batsman is out – you are not that good Stuart.

Ok, that’s enough from me. For someone who is not a great lover of ODI’s I have said a lot today, I suppose it is just England playing rubbish and I care! 

6.27, Time for a Thatchers before skittles I suppose.

Sellsy's Monday Supplement

Michael Carberry hits the ball in the middle of the bat for the first time in the recent Ashes series and the bat, probably riddled with rot and woodworm as not been properly used for a while, snapped in half! That just about summed up England’s tour to Australia, broken!

The worse tour to Australia ever? Nearly as bad as the series in 2006/7, when England lost by the same margin under the leadership (I use that word loosely) of Freddie Flintoff. The Aussies then had a world class side, the likes off Langer, Hayden, Ponting, Gilchrist, Warne and McGrath to name just a few. This current Aussie side are not even close to that.

Anyway enough of that, we can analyse until the preverbal cows come home; a lot has been said and will be said over the coming weeks. The only thing the annoys me is that the sacrifice I have to endure in changing my sleeping pattern to watch that debacle, at least the last Test only lasted three days!

So what next for England? Who knows, some change in personnel amongst the backroom staff maybe the way forward - even Marcus Trescothick’s name has been mentioned, but that was in some tin pot Sunday newspaper - along with a change in the playing staff. Andy Flower will keep his job as head coach and Alastair Cook will stay on as captain, so he should, it’s the rest of the team who needs to look at themselves. Ben Stokes and Stuart Broad (just), can take anything from the tour, but it’s the batting that worries me. 

So with the shortest day now behind us, it is now countdown to the 2014 County Championship season and the start of the West Somerset Cricket League. Over Stowey will soon be starting indoor nets, should I turn up to get rid of relaxed muscle around my stomach, or should I get fit first? Neither I expect as I just rely on my great technique and good eye for the ball – saying that I need a new pair of glasses!

Somerset players are dotted around the world playing cricket in Australia and New Zealand, enjoying the warmth and heat no doubt, while we suffer in the wind, rain and floods. So what are the prospects of Somerset claiming some silverware this season, well something to examine over the next few months, just look out for the Overton twins! 

Right, have a look at this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ePx61TkXKY this will definitely cheer you up. Piers Morgan, or big mouth (amongst other things I have heard people call him), takes on Brett Lee in the nets. I am led to believe Morgan said that he could do better than the England players – how many broken ribs? 

Right, 6.27, time for skittles and a few Thatchers in the Cottage.