Sellsy's Sunday Supplement

Who says the camera never lies, well if you got your hands on the Mercury this week, there was definitely something wrong with that picture in the sports section, and I can’t quite put my finger on it, anyone would like to hazard a guess?

I happened to meet Gary Thomas on Friday, and he mentioned to me that his phone was non-stop on Tuesday morning, people saying that they saw his picture in the paper and they thought he had given up cricket! As I said, the camera never lies, just that the picture was that of the 1^st XI of 2010. A bit of a faux pas by someone, but my conscience is clear, but still have a lot of explaining to do.

Somerset are dragging themselves back into the County Championship race, with back to back victories against Durham and most recently an unlikely innings victory over Worcestershire. I say unlikely, as after the first day Worcester had only lost three wickets and a big score looked likely. However the Set managed to bowl them out for just under 500, and then went on a mission, especially the skipper, Marcus. Somerset blasted nearly 600 runs and after they declared just before the close on day three, a draw was still always the favourite.

Some days I do like overcast mornings, as it helped the Somerset seam attack no end, as they skittled out Worcester for 95.

This victory leaves the Set fourth in the table, with five games left, four of which are at Taunton, with the last game of the season against Lancashire – a title decider?

A minimum of three victories will see them go close, but again a lot is out of their hands, especially with Warwickshire having played a game less. Another exciting end to the season and with a quarter-final in the T20 approaching, plus still leading the way in the CB40 a trip to the doctors may be on the cards, to help keep my blood pressure down!

So a CB40 away to Essex today (Sunday), followed by a home four day game against Sussex starting on Tuesday, lets hope the Set are celebrating a few more victories over the next week.

Celebrating victories is always something to look forward to. I know Somerset celebrate with a chorus of the Blackbird song, by The Wurzels; and The Sprinkler dance used down under by England when they won the Ashes has been well documented; and the players Stowey seem to do things a bit differently and it usually means, drinking loads of cider from jugs, going to a house party or Bridgwater and getting home the next morning at about ten in the morning.

However with Stowey, they will do the same if they had lost, in fact I would hazard a guess that more alcohol is consumed.

For me the journey home is the trickiest, which usually involves a mile and a half walk from the Social Club in the dark. I prefer a clear night with a full moon so I can see where I’m going, but we are in England, so it’s usually overcast and the odd hedge is found on the way back and I swear that owl is not hooting but laughing at me!

On a day when Stuart Broad got a hat-trick for England in the second Test, Over Stowey’s Jack Rich emulated that feet some 30 minutes later, as he took the first three Minehead wickets. Stowey 1^st XI went on to win by 40 runs, a much needed victory for the 1^st XI. It does pain me to say it, but Mark Sortwell hit a half century earlier in the game – I believe he was told to hit out or get out, seems that he played a lot of fresh air shots! At one stage, after Mark was playing and missing every ball, he seemed to be getting a bit hot and flustered. He turned to the wicket-keeper and said “what couldn’t I do with a bottle of beer.” Which the keeper replied “Hit it with the bat!”

The less said about the 2^nd’s the better, I do believe the game was over by 4pm and had tea early! However I do understand Rabbit owes a jug, taking five wickets in a game against a touring side on Wednesday.

The previous week I mentioned that the 2^nd XI lost, with less than two overs to go, but have since found out that they gave away nearly 40 extras, which when you’ve only got 131 to defend can best be described as quite frustrating!

In my first season as 2^nd XI captain, we added up the number of wides we bowled that season, and it turned out that we bowled the equivalent another game, yes 40 overs of wides, that’s and extra two and half hours in the field!

10.57, it’s time for a pint, well a hangover cure as went to a pretty good party last night, with loads of cider!

Sellsy's Sunday Supplement

How do you make an Australian omelette? First, steal three eggs….! This is said to be Ian Botham’s favourite joke, can’t think why! Did you see the documentary about the great man during the week? Cracking piece of television, brings back some great memories of 1981 and all that, at one stage I thought John Major was going to explode with the amount of hyperbole he used.

For me, there was two very poignant moments. The first was when Botham walked through the member’s area of Lord’s to deathly silence, and not one member had the nerve to look at Beefy in the eye or nothing. No wonder Beefy has such little respect for them, you can see why if you watch that documentary. He resigned the captaincy job after that Test and the rest, as you say, is history!

The second was the trance like state Bob Willis was in when he took those eight wickets, his eyes was like something out of a horror movie, just don’t realise how much Mike Brearley got into his head to make him like that, wow! If you get a chance to watch it again, do so; kids beware of those eyes.

Somerset did their best to make sure India were under prepared for the forth coming Test series against England, when they played them in a three day warm up match. Firstly, the Indian coach, Duncan Fletcher, wanted to make it a 13-a-side match, so as many of his players could get some match practice in, Somerset refused.

Secondly, Fletcher wanted Somerset to forfeit the toss so as they could bat first, Somerset refused, won the toss and batted, which gave Andrew Strauss some much needed batting practice.

Thirdly, Fletcher again, wanted Somerset to declare overnight after the first day, Somerset again refused and Arul Suppiah went on to score 156. They eventually declared on 425-3 and went to work on the Indian batting line-up. At the end of day two, the Tourists were staring down a barrel, eight wickets down with only 138 on the board.

Lastly, with the follow-on target looking out of reach, Fletcher asked if Somerset would enforce the follow-on so his players could gain some valuable batting practice. Somerset refused again, decided to bat themselves, enabling Andrew Strauss some more time at the crease, where he hit a ton, getting him ready for the Lord’s Test which started on Thursday.

Well played Somerset, it shows that Counties can work with the ECB, not only did it help Strauss find his form and it rattled the Indians, who thought they were going to have it all their own way. Could this be a blue print for future matches against visiting touring sides? Especially the Aussies!

Special mention must go to Peter Trego, who smashed 85 of 57 balls, his 50 of 32 balls and he took 28 of an over, which included four sixes! That’s it Pete, get ready for the Nott’s quarter-final!

Could things get any worse for the Indians? Well they won the toss at Lord’s decided to stick England in which, at the time, looked like the right decision, but no one told Kevin Pietersen, who scored 202 not out and England declared on 474.

As for Stuart Broad, well the selectors are fully justified when they dropped him recently, told him to go back to Nott’s to get some County Championship wickets. He did, against Somerset (git), and now he took four wickets in the Indian first innings, plus having two catches spilled. India all out for 286, somehow I think England will bat today until about tea time (unless they are all out), to set up a good last day on Monday. I always said the last two days of a Test match are the best.

Over Stowey had a bit of a torrid time of it all over the weekend, losing to a touring side on Friday and both league sides going down on Saturday. One of Trull’s batsmen was none to impressed with the way he was out, blaming the pitch. When he came off I was waiting for the Matt Prior moment, as he was livid. Fortunately for him there was no sound of breaking glass. Crikey, it’s only Division Four cricket of the West Somerset League!

Good to Elsie still doing the teas, thought all the media frenzy she has encountered this week might off gone to her head or something, but there she was, cuppa’s at the ready. Stowey are so lucky to have someone like Elsie.

Couldn’t go up the club last night, had an 18^th birthday party to attend, beach wear was the theme, and I thought I was back in Ibiza! Wow, wish I was 15 years younger! Oh well, they had a fridge full of Thatchers, so was quite content!

Gladstone Small (his brother is called Disraeli Big!), was on Cricket AM on Saturday, and whenever I see him I think of the joke about him, as follows:

Ian Botham and David Gower are in a restaurant overseas and both decide to have the "special of the day."  This special turns out to be the local delicacy of sea turtle.
When they both order it the waiter goes to check they have enough left. He returns five minutes later saying there is a problem, they only have two left, but one is still alive but the chef can’t coaxes the turtle out of his shell, so he can chop his head off and cook him. Beefy then steps up to the mark and tells the waiter he will deal with it.
The waiter tells beefy he is welcome to try - but the chef being a seasoned expert hasn’t been able to sort it, so doesn’t think he will.
Beefy gets the turtle in one hand and with his other sticks his index finger into the rear of the turtle, the turtle then stick his head out and the chef chops it off....job done. Amazed, the waiter asked how Beefy knew what to do?
Beefy: "I'm used to it.....we use the same technique to get Gladstone Small’s tie on for the post match Gala's!”

Ok, 10.57, time for a pint, and now I don’t have to sneak around the back!

Sellsy's Sunday Supplement

You can always tell when it’s the holiday season in these parts, northern accents are heard in the pub. One such family from Birmingham was in The Cottage recently yapping away, and it dawned on me what they were talking about, ducks (see the link?). Yes ducks, have they not seen one before?

It seems they have about a hundred pictures of this one duck, and guess what, to such hilarity of that family, it flew! Quote from Mrs. Brummie, “I never knew ducks could fly!” followed by bouts of giggles. Oh how I wanted to join in that conversation.

Anyway, ducks, the cricketing ones, I’ve had loads of them and some golden ones as well, but never a diamond duck. I can also say with some pride, I’m a fully paid up member of the Primary Club, and have a tie to honor this achievement.

One particularly high-profile example of a duck came in 1948, when Don Bradman was playing his final Test match for Australia, against England at The Oval. In Australia's first innings, Bradman was bowled for a duck by Eric Hollies, causing his test average to fall from 101.39 to 99.94; had he scored just four runs, his average would have been 100. Shame! To make things worse for Bradman, Australia won by an innings, and he didn’t get another chance. Bigger Shame!

However, I’ve had some important nought’s in my distinguished career. Probably my greatest nought, was when I was picked to play for Haygrove School 1^st XI against Brymore School. Usually a run chase of 120 was never a problem for Haygrove, as had some excellent talent in that year, some of which went on to play for Bridgwater. However, with five top order batsmen out, and still needing another 50 to win, I stepped to the crease. At the other end was Paul ‘Fred’ Eckley, the last of the recognized batsmen, he came up to me and said, “Give me the strike as much as you can.” So I did. So much so, that after Fred smacked the winning runs, I worked out that I never faced a ball, as on the last ball of every over we scrambled a single to give Fred the strike! Nought not out, without facing a ball, of which there was a 50 run partnership to win the game! Thank you to my mathematics teacher for teaching me to count to six!

What an interesting week it has been for Somerset, having reached the quarter-finals of the T20 tournament, it was an issue whether they could be guaranteed a home tie. With matters out of their hands due to the fact they had played all their games, they could only sit and watch, with Sussex, Kent, Surrey and Essex scrap it out for the last two places.

With both Kent and Sussex winning their last games, The Set now have an away trip to Nottingham in the quarter-finals, as they could only finish fourth in the group, thanks to the rain. They must be sick of the rain at the County Ground, with four of their matches being decided by the weather, and surely a top two spot would have been a formality, ok, admittedly they did throw it away against Middlesex last Sunday when they could only tie.

So who fancies a trip to Trent Bridge in a couple of week’s time?

What a great reception Andrew Strauss received from the Somerset supporters when he walked onto the pitch on Friday to bat against the touring Indians. And how he repaid them, smashing a rapid 78 in an opening stand of 101 with Arul, and hopefully getting back his form ready for First Test on Thursday.

I do hope he does thank Jimmy Cook, the Somerset batting coach, as I believe he was with Cook for some time during some net sessions earlier in the week. Thank you to my most reliable source within the County Ground that week, Jack Rich, who I also believed told Strauss where he was going wrong!

With a tame draw against Nott’s in the County Championship, where Hildy, Kies and Compo all hit tons; plus Tres escaping a two match ban for failing to control his players, it’s just been a normal week at Taunton.

I see The Set are on TV again on Monday, where they take on Lancashire in a Pro40 game at Old Trafford. Somerset return to Taunton to take on Durham in a County Championship game, starting on Thursday.

Jugs of ale a plenty up The Club on Saturday night as young as Over Stowey got back to winning ways with victory over Hinkley Point by five runs. Young Lee Villis was the star, by taking six quick wickets, ripping the heart out of the Point middle order; earlier he scored a quick fire 37 to get Stowey off to a flyer. Also young Jack Rich made good use with his new bat (thanks to Ebay and his kind father who let he borrow his credit card!), smashing some quick runs towards the end of the innings, so that Stowey posted a respectable target.

Lee wasn’t the only one to buy a jug, as Neil Buller (for a jug avoidance) and Spud Hillman (who was at the bar at the right time) also delved into their pockets to set them up on the bar. I wasn’t complaining, but my head is this morning!

Great to catch up with an old school colleague of mine, Nick Clarke, who played for Point yesterday. Nothing changes with Nick, always as competitive as ever, even at the bar in the evening, it felt like a race who could down their cider quicker! Good to see you Nick, we’ll have to blow the froth of a few in September when Stowey travel to Point for the reverse fixture.

Right, its 10.57, time for a hangover cure!

Sellsy's Sunday Supplement

Before I start this week’s supplement I must point out that I have not in anyway been involved in any phone hacking, even if you think half the stuff I put down is unbelievable sometimes. Plus I did give you the exclusive of ‘The Flying Gravy Boat’, which I now have photographic evidence that this did happen, and I did not hack any mobiles to get this!

Someone did say to me are you sure he cleared the roof, because he does struggle to get the ball in to the wicket-keeper on a Saturday afternoon!

Discipline has been in the news quite a bit this week, with our own Marcus Trescothick due to be called up in front of the ECB disciplinary team to answer questions on his player’s behavior.

With so much money at stake in our game at present, especially in the T20 tournament where both finalists will automatically go into the Champions League, it is hardly surprising that the pressure gets to the players.

Steve Kirby is the latest Somerset player to be penalised under the ECB disciplinary code, for using obscene or insulting language or gesture in a T20 game against Essex. Those Essex boys, in my mind, deserve a mouthful and everything thrown at them from the ECB, especially James Foster, the little upstart wicket-keeper who is supposed to be a captain! Now he has been banned for two games, shame!

I was once on the wrong end of some verbals from a member of the Essex squad during the semi-final of the CB40 competition in 2010. This guy, who can best be described as having one pie too many, took offence when I asked him how his diet was going!

Murray Goodwin made a schoolboy error last week at Arundel, when he is alleged to question his lbw dismissal and smashed the ball to the boundary as he walked off. Gerard Elias QC, chairman of the ECB’s disciplinary commission, was in the crowd at the time! And he has previous.

Anyway, somehow I think Trescothick will be given the same penalty as Foster – a two match ban – for not controlling his players, which could only damage Somerset’s chances in all three competitions, depending what games he is banned for.

Derek Pringle, formerly of Essex, recently wrote an article in The Telegraph shortly after Matt Prior smashed a window at Lord’s, how he lost it a little when he played against Somerset, has getting some abuse from ‘cider fuelled Somerset supporters”, does anyone know what he is on about?

Personally, one sentence describes how cricket should be played: within the spirit of the game. Are you listening Mr. Graddon!

After a win against Gloucester on Friday, another win today against Middlesex should see Somerset through to the quarter finals of the T20 competition, somehow I think we need to finish in the top two to secure home advantage, let’s see. Well done to Arul Suppiah who is now World Record holder, taking six Glamorgan wickets for just five runs, the best return in T20 cricket. Tim Southee tried his best to beat that a couple of day’s later, again taking six Glamorgan wickets, but for 16 runs. Are Glamorgan that bad?

Four day cricket back on the agenda on Monday when Somerset travel to Nottingham. Then The Set has a gem of a fixture, when they entertain the Indian tourists.

Last weekend’s Charity Cricket weekend went smoothly, without any smashed car windscreens this year, with the Sunday well attended, thanks to the sunshine. The crowd was thoroughly entertained with some exciting six-a-side cricket and plenty of sixes.

Congratulations to our main sponsors team, The Cottage Crusaders, who not only won the competition, but also retained the Ray Poole trophy with victory over a Tarmac Old Boys side.

Recently I paid tribute to Elsie, Over Stowey’s tea lady for 50 years, Yorkshire Tea have somehow found out about this amazing feat, they have got in contact with yours truly and sent down a load of goodies for a small presentation for Elsie. This is wonderful from Yorkshire Tea, and I have now a new tea pot with a year’s supply of tea bags!

Over Stowey have now got themselves into a bit of rut, having lost their last three games, including yesterday against Carhampton. Despite the injuries, I’m sure Stowey will bounce back next week when they face Hinkley Point.

Right, it’s 10.57, time for a pint and I will assure you this is not my last edition, unlike some ‘red top’ whose are now headlines themselves, serves them right!

Sellsy's Sunday Supplement

The first part of the Charity Cricket Weekend went off exceedingly well, and it is now baffling me how I’m typing this, especially at this time of the morning. Part two to come of the weekend, plenty of six-a-side cricket to keep us entertained!

Thank you for all those who turned up on Saturday evening, events like these wouldn’t happen if we didn’t have the support from the public.

After such a successful day on Saturday, and it looks like it’s going to be a busy day today, I wonder if the club will invest in a hospitality tent, which will be hosted by former players, and invite a different variety of guests every home match.

Glad to see Somerset take to the field at home last Sunday, especially after the last four home matches have been rained off. I expect Glamorgan were glad to win the toss and bat, as if The Set batted first I think a score over 200 would of been in the offering.

Who is that Glamorgan player Cosgrove? Looks more like a villager cricketer due to his size (just look at some of Stowey’s finest!), and he did have to field in front of sun drenched, cider fuelled Somerset supporters; wonder what was said to him? Too many pies perhaps?

After all that hard work against Glamorgan, what next, they lose to Gloucester. Four games left, three wins I think to qualify, as it’s very close in that group.

The Stuart Broad debate doesn’t seem to be going away, especially now Tim Bresnan is now back in the one day side, even the great Ian Botham was giving his two pennyworth. What I can see of him, he needs a spell in county cricket, get his length right, as he seems to be bowling far to short all the time, take some wickets and get his confidence back.

The selection for the 1^st Test match against India will pose some interesting questions. James Anderson and Chris Tremlett are nailed on certainties, along with the spin option Graeme Swann. Then it’s one from three from Steve Finn, Bresnan and Broad, with, for me Broad being last in that pecking order. Plus I haven’t even mention Jade Denbarch who hasn’t done anything wrong. We shall see over the coming weeks.

Now I see Broad has been fined for “unacceptable and offensive” remarks to the umpires, makes me wonder what was said! Expect the umpire might of mentioned how bad his bowling was, or something like that for him to make those remarks…… drop him!

The first week in July is always a sad week, as we’ve now reached the halfway point of the season, which again has come too quickly. The kids have now finished their league campaign – what am I going to do on Sunday mornings to get rid of my hangover?

The youngsters have shown so keen spirit this season in difficult leagues, and it’s great to see a lot of youngsters turning out for training every Tuesday.

Now, when I was a youngster many years ago, we never had the luxury of training sessions at the local club, we just made our own entertainment down the local park, using breeze blocks for stumps (not quite jumpers for goal posts – but the best I could do!) Those long hot summer days when you were on holiday from school. We used to have four day games down the park, which usually comprises of about five innings a piece (that’s just on the first day), using pieces of left over equipment from the sadly defunct Nether Stowey Cricket Club and having a lot of fun, with the odd argument during the game which sometimes ended in tears!!!! Memories eh?

Has anyone found a gravy boat in their back garden? The dogs were barking at something on Tuesday morning, I went to investigate and found a gravy boat lying on our back driveway. Strange, I thought, it could only come from one place, from our favorite opening bowler / landlord / sponsor / chef! Now I thought as Molly was away at the weekend, he took his evening meal to his bedroom, left the gravy boat on the window ledge, had a few beers and knocked it off into our back garden.

However, it transpires that he lobbed it over the roof in a fit of rage over cold gravy (great left arm!), something to do with a waitress leaving it on top of the fridge over night! Apparently, we were lucky, as it could off been the whole lunch thrown over, the dogs would’ve been very happy.

On the subject of The Cottage Inn, the Breakfast Chef seems to have a spring in his step, I wonder why!?!?

We shan’t dwell on yesterday’s performance by the two senior sides, both restricted by injury, and we had the unusual sight of the second team skipper having to captain the 1^st XI, while the first team vice-captain taking the reins for the 2^nd XI, bizarre.

Oh well, 7.57, yes 7.57, time to go up the ground and clear up, ready for part two of the Charity weekend