Sellsy's Sunday Supplement

How do you make an Australian omelette? First, steal three eggs….! This is said to be Ian Botham’s favourite joke, can’t think why! Did you see the documentary about the great man during the week? Cracking piece of television, brings back some great memories of 1981 and all that, at one stage I thought John Major was going to explode with the amount of hyperbole he used.

For me, there was two very poignant moments. The first was when Botham walked through the member’s area of Lord’s to deathly silence, and not one member had the nerve to look at Beefy in the eye or nothing. No wonder Beefy has such little respect for them, you can see why if you watch that documentary. He resigned the captaincy job after that Test and the rest, as you say, is history!

The second was the trance like state Bob Willis was in when he took those eight wickets, his eyes was like something out of a horror movie, just don’t realise how much Mike Brearley got into his head to make him like that, wow! If you get a chance to watch it again, do so; kids beware of those eyes.

Somerset did their best to make sure India were under prepared for the forth coming Test series against England, when they played them in a three day warm up match. Firstly, the Indian coach, Duncan Fletcher, wanted to make it a 13-a-side match, so as many of his players could get some match practice in, Somerset refused.

Secondly, Fletcher wanted Somerset to forfeit the toss so as they could bat first, Somerset refused, won the toss and batted, which gave Andrew Strauss some much needed batting practice.

Thirdly, Fletcher again, wanted Somerset to declare overnight after the first day, Somerset again refused and Arul Suppiah went on to score 156. They eventually declared on 425-3 and went to work on the Indian batting line-up. At the end of day two, the Tourists were staring down a barrel, eight wickets down with only 138 on the board.

Lastly, with the follow-on target looking out of reach, Fletcher asked if Somerset would enforce the follow-on so his players could gain some valuable batting practice. Somerset refused again, decided to bat themselves, enabling Andrew Strauss some more time at the crease, where he hit a ton, getting him ready for the Lord’s Test which started on Thursday.

Well played Somerset, it shows that Counties can work with the ECB, not only did it help Strauss find his form and it rattled the Indians, who thought they were going to have it all their own way. Could this be a blue print for future matches against visiting touring sides? Especially the Aussies!

Special mention must go to Peter Trego, who smashed 85 of 57 balls, his 50 of 32 balls and he took 28 of an over, which included four sixes! That’s it Pete, get ready for the Nott’s quarter-final!

Could things get any worse for the Indians? Well they won the toss at Lord’s decided to stick England in which, at the time, looked like the right decision, but no one told Kevin Pietersen, who scored 202 not out and England declared on 474.

As for Stuart Broad, well the selectors are fully justified when they dropped him recently, told him to go back to Nott’s to get some County Championship wickets. He did, against Somerset (git), and now he took four wickets in the Indian first innings, plus having two catches spilled. India all out for 286, somehow I think England will bat today until about tea time (unless they are all out), to set up a good last day on Monday. I always said the last two days of a Test match are the best.

Over Stowey had a bit of a torrid time of it all over the weekend, losing to a touring side on Friday and both league sides going down on Saturday. One of Trull’s batsmen was none to impressed with the way he was out, blaming the pitch. When he came off I was waiting for the Matt Prior moment, as he was livid. Fortunately for him there was no sound of breaking glass. Crikey, it’s only Division Four cricket of the West Somerset League!

Good to Elsie still doing the teas, thought all the media frenzy she has encountered this week might off gone to her head or something, but there she was, cuppa’s at the ready. Stowey are so lucky to have someone like Elsie.

Couldn’t go up the club last night, had an 18^th birthday party to attend, beach wear was the theme, and I thought I was back in Ibiza! Wow, wish I was 15 years younger! Oh well, they had a fridge full of Thatchers, so was quite content!

Gladstone Small (his brother is called Disraeli Big!), was on Cricket AM on Saturday, and whenever I see him I think of the joke about him, as follows:

Ian Botham and David Gower are in a restaurant overseas and both decide to have the "special of the day."  This special turns out to be the local delicacy of sea turtle.
When they both order it the waiter goes to check they have enough left. He returns five minutes later saying there is a problem, they only have two left, but one is still alive but the chef can’t coaxes the turtle out of his shell, so he can chop his head off and cook him. Beefy then steps up to the mark and tells the waiter he will deal with it.
The waiter tells beefy he is welcome to try - but the chef being a seasoned expert hasn’t been able to sort it, so doesn’t think he will.
Beefy gets the turtle in one hand and with his other sticks his index finger into the rear of the turtle, the turtle then stick his head out and the chef chops it off....job done. Amazed, the waiter asked how Beefy knew what to do?
Beefy: "I'm used to it.....we use the same technique to get Gladstone Small’s tie on for the post match Gala's!”

Ok, 10.57, time for a pint, and now I don’t have to sneak around the back!