There’s a quite comprehensive section about performance,
which includes things like skills (what?), fitness (no chance!), gear (I have a
box!) and in particular nutrition. Apparently this will help amateur
cricketers, like myself, fuel your match day performance! So let me talk you
through it.
Breakfast: AOC’s
nutritionist’s recommends things like omelette, scrambled egg or even a Greek
yoghurt smoothie (a what?), something to do with protein. Now I can speak for
the majority of Over Stowey CC, ok, the ones the go on tour, where a fry-up is
the order of the day, which does include eggs, the fried type and plenty of
carbohydrates like hash browns.
Nowadays, I still have my fried egg, usually stuck in a
sandwich with bacon, and mushrooms, with loads of sauce, washed down with a
gallon of tea. Now that’s the way to start a match day, surely?
Drinks Break: What
follows breakfast, lunch of course, not a drinks break, I think the
nutritionist is slowly getting out of touch with amateur cricket, especially
village cricket. Lunch usually involves a couple of quick pints down the local,
my type of drinks break, see if there is anything on the specials board which
looks appetising, a bowl of chips usually suffices and straight to the match.
Now we can have our drinks break, so what did our expert
come up with this time? Electrolyte tablets (something to do with sweating too
much), skimmed milk, bananas and nuts! This is to do with maintaining energy
levels during a long innings. Phil Rich, Stowey’s prolific batsman, during a
lengthy innings needed a drink; he asked if someone could bring him out one, to
his bemusement a glass of squash was working its way out to him. “Not one of
those” he cried out, “go in my kit bag, I have a special can in there!” Out
come a can of cider, he knocked in back in three gulps and went on to hit a
ton!
Tea: Teas are the most important part about cricket and
teas in the West Somerset League are absolutely marvellous, especially Wendy’s
at Stowey. Full of cream cakes, scones, sponges, sandwiches, sausage rolls etc.
So what does our expert say (look away now please Wendy),
low carbohydrate, high in protein type tea, which includes: chicken goujons,
quinoa salad, carrot and celery sticks, yoghurts and a fruit salad. Enough to
give me a nervous breakdown, or even contemplate retirement.
The afore mentioned Phil Rich and myself once had a scone
eating contest when playing at Stogumber one barmy summers day. He managed to
polish off about a dozen and then went out to score a hatful of runs – experts
eh?
Post Match Drinks: Now
a pint or two goes down quite well at Over Stowey after a hard day’s play, in
fact it can be more than a couple of pints. Now our nutritionist is coming to
his senses here a little as he mentions drinking gin or vodka with tonic, but
this is instead of beer and cider which is calorie heavy, I don’t think so! At
Stowey the shorts usually flow when spoofing start, however Bacardi and coke is
the order of the day, except for yours truly who is a bit partial to a G&T.
Post Match Food: Again
AOC’s finest is coming round, as he recommends a curry house! Now you are
talking, but (there always is with an expert) avoid garlic naan and curries, go
for a mixed grill with lots of meat – so what is the point of going for a
curry?
As Over Stowey is about eight miles from any civilisation,
if you can call Bridgwater civilised, a curry house is usually out of the
question, unless someone decides to do a fish and chip run (curried chips). So
a pasty or pie at the social club is high on the menu by the players.
Anyway, all this advice about performance isn’t exactly
going to enhance mine, I don’t even warm up before play. Life in the cider tent
sounds wonderful on match days instead of the worries of playing when selected.
5.27 time for skittles and Thatchers cider!
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